Love’s Law
By Naje Badu Love
My hope is to successfully demonstrate how being aware of our ability, or inability, to offer love, and more importantly, to love ourselves as uncompromisingly as we are, immediately changes our experience of life and how we perceive the world by which we are surrounded. Some of us have reached an inevitable point in our lives where something has to give. Arriving at such awareness is commendable; however, determining which aspects of our lives need shifting, shaping, or removing may be an extremely difficult task entirely - especially in the moment of overwhelm and discontent. For your own respective journey, I encourage you to begin digesting the meaning behind the following declaration: Whatever you feel, think, perceive, and believe to be true is, and will always be, reflected in your external life. Whatever you feel, think, perceive, and believe to be true about yourself is, and will always be, reflected in your experience of life.
Many of us remain oblivious to how maintaining limited perspectives of what we believe to be possible is spawned by the unhealthy thoughts and perceptions we hold about who we are. Our reasons for uttering excuses that temporarily justify our shortcomings are rooted in our inclination to sabotage potential outcomes as a way of avoiding failure and rejection. Often times this happens before we even attempt to endeavor a path that leads us from dream to fruition. This means that before we can begin to understand our reasoning behind self-sabotaging actions and behaviors, or even the buts, justifications, and excuses we use to validate deficiency, we must first begin to realize where in our lives we are unloving. This entails having the courage to stand in our pain and be accountable for what we are tolerating, excusing, allowing, or enabling ourselves to treat our mind, body, and heart unkindly. It also requires being accountable for what we are tolerating or being mindful of when we allow others to treat our minds, bodies, and hearts unkindly. We must also begin to identify the parts of ourselves that hinder us from standing fully in our power - to rise above fear and perceived limitations.
Cultivating mindfulness about how unkindly we treat ourselves will help us gain insight on how to move forward in our lives much more lovingly. This is the first step to take in order to lead ourselves into a more fulfilling existence. The insight we need can be garnered when we are willing to reflect on some of the internal inquiries listed below. What I would suggest is that you take a moment to sit alone, in a quiet space with minimal distractions. I would even pull out a pen and a journal to jot down some of the thoughts that arise consequent to contemplation. As you do this, I also encourage you to breathe deeply and allow yourself to hear exactly what it is you need in this moment in order to take the next “right step” toward loving yourself more fully.
Sit still and reflect on your past. Deliberate over the choices and decisions you’ve made that have led to this very moment of your life. Also, contemplate some of the current choices and decisions you are in the process of making, and to consider where they can potentially lead you in the future.
Evaluate aspects of your life that are or are not working. Be honest with yourself. Change transpires the moment you decide to confront the truth head-on.
Assess which of your relationships no longer support you or your desire to experience more, better, and greater aspects of who you really are.
Determine where in your life you are choosing, living, and being small, or well beneath your potential.
Identify whether or not your job or career path are in alignment with what you truly desire to have, be, or experience in life.
Contemplate moments in your life where you have treated yourself unlovingly or unkindly, or even where you have allowed others to follow suit and cause you to feel insecure and unworthy of what you truly desire to have, experience, and become.
Reflect on all of the times you have used a “but” to explain why a desired outcome or experience has yet to make its way into your life. Consider whether or not your comfort is greater than your will to love yourself enough to fulfill your dreams and aspirations.
Why am I asking you to think about these things?
Well, the more you begin to get a clear understanding of what is or is not serving you, or your life, the more you will be able to reflect on what is compelling you to allow these things to remain, as well as hinder you from creating what you truly desire. The most responsible action in the process of change involves taking ownership of what is playing out in your life. The moment you are able to do this is the moment you will truly realize the power of choice. As you transition from reflection to revelation, you will be presented with an opportunity to make a different selection or decide to pursue alternative possibilities. Remember, opting to reflect doesn’t necessarily give you permission to judge what may very well be unloving or unkind choices, but rather allows you to focus on the possibility for growth and healing.
Changing how you feel about yourself, as well as the circumstances taking place around you, is not always easy if you are accustomed to entertaining negative self-talk and criticism, or choosing in ways that are destructive. Here are some points to consider as you begin to make the shift of offering yourself to the world as love:
Have an honest conversation with yourself about what love is to you and how you desire for it to be displayed in your life – from yourself, and then from others. Be specific. It’s the only way you’ll be able to measure whether or not your choices and decisions are in alignment with what you deem loving.
Love yourself fully. Start with making the decision to do so always and in all ways - compassionately and unapologetically.
Learn exactly what it is you have to contribute to this world. Envision how you will go about making a unique contribution to the world during your lifetime. Once you have done so, make every effort to ensure that your thoughts, choices, beliefs, and actions remain in alignment with a fervent intention to carry out the vision.
Know that what you give to the world will come back to you equally.
Choose to have an optimistic perception or outlook of what you have or have not attracted into your life.
Remember: Nothing exists in your life if it was not first invited - consciously or otherwise.
Trust without any doubt that everything you encounter is meant to teach you a lesson through which the wisdom you obtain can be applied towards greater things that will be able to create later in life. To understand this is to recognize what and why you are attracting certain people, relationships, circumstances, and situations. Remember, whatever you encounter is life’s way of responding to something you are consciously or unconsciously requesting, thinking, or believing.
Evaluate the not-so-good perspectives you maintain about who you are, as well as, what has become of your life, so the awareness about the aspects of yourself that require healing or more love begins to expand.
Positively align your thoughts and perceptions about what you believe to be possible through you.
Happiness and fulfillment grow more abundant the moment you decide to think, speak, believe, and feel in ways that are good and loving.
The need for excuses to validate rejection and failure ceases to exist when you experience all things in life as love - this includes you.
One of the most significant steps to overcoming challenges and transcending perceived limitations involves learning how to love yourself completely. This entails being accountable for everything that occurs in your life, no matter who else may be involved. Loving yourself also entails refuting urges to criticize or judge previous choices, actions, decisions, and behaviors that resulted in undesired situations. To love yourself is to know that you are not your circumstances, but rather a culmination of experiences, which include your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. To love yourself fully is to recognize that you have made poor choices and decisions, and then make better or wiser choices founded in the lessons and knowledge obtained from painful or contrasting experiences.
(This is an excerpt from one of Naje’s bool, Let Go of Your But! A Woman’s Guide to Loving Herself to Full Potential and Possibility.
STAY CONNECTED:
Naje Badu Love is the author of Let Go of Your But! A Woman’s Guide to Loving Herself to Full Potential and Possibility (purchase here). As an artist and illustrator, Naje founded Journal Up! (an organization designed to support people in their quest for true potential through journaling). to align her passion for writing, journaling and illustration as a means of connecting with and inspiring people around the globe. You are invited to reach out to her via Facebook and LinkedIn by following the social media details below:
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